Fertie’s Rap

When we first discovered that Anna was pregnant I wrote this rap as a way of letting some of our family members know. This is from the perspective of our child, who we call Fertie (bonus points to you if you can guess why…). Thought I’d share it with you, here it is:

Allow me to introduce myself

I am the one, the only LIL FERTIE


Yo yo yo yo yo

Here we go

Who is the greatest lil embryo

As I begin to grow, you won’t stop my flow

I’m a proverbial bond bout to go into escrow


So watch out for me when I come around

I’ll make everything in your life turn upside down

One day I’ll see the world and take its crown

For now this womb is Lil Fertie’s hometown


My rhymes terrify they make you psychotic

You can find me chilling out in the sac of amniotic

Don’t defy me, I’m your new neighbor

If I get too excited I may induce labor


Even though I barely exist

There’s no way you can’t resist

Cuz with a flick of the wrist, I’ll give ya the gist

I’m about to make my way to #1 on your top 5 list


All this being said, I know you’ll love me

I’m in utero now, I’ll come out eventually

I’ll walk around and you can meet me

But for now give a holla to Anna’s belly

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